Strawberry Scented Snape
by walker-of-the-shadow-path
Summary: Just what did the Weasley Twins do to Professor Snape on Harrys birthday? Why was Mrs Weasley so surprised? And what does neon green armpit hair have to do with anything? Oneshot.


_Authors Note: This is an extract from Enough is Enough so it'll probably make more sense if you read that first. You don't have to though. I think it's funny enough without it. Just to let my regular readers know, I have updated Enough is Enough – it has a real chapter nine now. Enjoy._

_Warnings: A little light language and sexual references. Really, really mild but you have been warned._

_This is going out to **Jemma Blackwell,** who wanted me to write this scene._

'You never said, you know, what it was you did to Snape.' Harry told the Twins, who grinned over at him.

'Well what you have to understand Harry, is that we didn't know it was going to get Snape.'

'It was _intended_ for you.'

'On your Birthday.'

'So we weren't aiming for abject humiliation.'

'Merely an amusing level of embarrassment.'

'Maybe some mild irritation.'

'Because that's always fun to watch.'

'Of course if we'd _known_ it was going to get Snape, well, we could've really gone to town.'

The Twins trailed off and smiled beautifically, pondering what would have been the Potions Masters fate.

'You still haven't said what you did.'

'Lust Dust!' They said in unison.

'_Lust Dust_!' Harry choked.

'It isn't as bad as it sounds you know.'

The real Love Potions and Aphrodisiacs have been outlawed for centuries.'

'They're classed as Mind-Altering Substances.'

'And technically that's classed as Dark Arts.'

'But besides all that we really wouldn't've wanted to see Mum ripping your clothes off and taking you on the kitchen floor.'

Ron cringed and Harry looked decidedly green.

'No, the most this stuff'll do is give people the sudden urge to hug you.'

'Maybe a peck on the cheek if they're particularly susceptible.'

'And it's very short-lived.'

'Still, it's great fun for parties.'

Anyway, I've never seen a man look so stunned.'

'Well, Mrs Tonks did pretty much throw herself at him.'

'She would have got him too if she hadn't tripped over that table leg.'

'I guess we know where Tonks gets it from.'

'Yeah, so Mum got there first instead.'

'I thought he looked more scared when Remus hugged him.'

Ron blinked. 'I didn't know Lupin swung that way.'

Hermione gave him a Look but he couldn't tell if it was her 'Merlin-I-Can't-Believe-You-Just-Said-Something-_That_-Stupid' Look or her ''Merlin-You-Can-Be-So-_Slow_-Sometimes-_I_-Figured-This-Out-Ages-Ago' Look. They _were_ very similar after all.

'He doesn't necessarily.'

'The Dust is non-gender specific – works on everyone in the vicinity.'

'Regardless of orientation.'

'Um, is that _all_ you did?'

The twins managed to look both affronted and slightly smug.

'Well, no, not quite.'

'See, we were going for festive.'

'Celebratory.'

'A party atmosphere.'

'So we charmed it Gryffindor scarlet and gold.'

'And made it sparkle.'

'Sparkle?'

'Yeah, it was kinda flashed, you know, like those fairy lights the Muggles use.'

'Though I don't know why they call them fairy lights, I mean, they look nothing _like_ fairies.'

'And then we made them sing.'

'As they flashed.'

'In high, squeaky voices.'

'And we're still not sure how but the song spell had a bit of a side effect.'

'Side effect?'

'It made him smell very strongly of strawberries.'

'Strawberries?'

They nodded.

'You're telling me we had a strawberry scented Snape being serenaded by his sparkly Gryffindor coloured hair?'

'Well, it wasn't exactly _hair_ at that point.'

Harry blinked. 'What was it then?'

'Well, it was more like a mane.'

'A Gryffindor Lions mane.'

'To match the tail that sprang out the back of his robes.'

'Snape the Gryffindor Lion?'

The Twins grinned. 'It was an interesting sight.'

'Of course, I'm not sure that's what really annoyed him.'

'Mmmmn, I think it was the compliments.'

'Compliments?'

'Well, we figured the singing would get old pretty fast, so we made it alternate with compliments.'

'Like Harry Potter: Quidditch Ace.'

'Or Harry Potter: Gryffindor Stud.'

'Teen Witch Weekly's Sweetest Smile, Ginny gave us that one.'

'Yeah your certificate's probably in the post.'

'Dueler Extraordinaire.'

'Defeater of Dark Lords.'

'That sort of thing.'

'I think having his hair squeak about how wonderful you were was the last straw.'

'Though it didn't help that everyone else was in stitches.'

'Except Mum, I think she was a bit peeved.'

'Especially when Snape started shouting.'

'How long do the spells last?' asked Hermione.

'Not very long, really.'

'The Dust lasts about an hour.'

'The flashing wears off in two but the glitter tends to linger.'

'And get everywhere.'

'I wonder if all his black robes are sporting glitter now?'

'Anyway, the voices slow down and start getting quiter after half an hour or so.'

'Yeah, we finally figured out how to stop them blurting random words out like that common room poster did.'

'You fix it so the gap between sentences gets wider and wider.'

'And quieter and quieter.'

'But it still lasts about four hours.'

'We're working on cutting it down to two.'

'You might think its all over after its been quiet for an hour but then suddenly it'll pipe up again.'

'And squeak out another phrase extolling your virtues Harry.'

'Bet it really annoyed him.'

'Since the strawberry scent was a side effect we're not sure how long that'll last.'

'The last time something like that happenned we ended up with neon green armpit hair for a month!'

'So it could be a while.'

They shrugged, unconcerned.

'It's just a shame Creevey wasn't here with a camera.'

'We could have made millions selling them as posters.'

They shrugged. 'Still it's not the end of the world.'

'Nah, we've still got to get the slimy git back for what he said to Mum.'

'And we will.'

Fred looked at George. 'Maybe we should try integrating some sort of recording charm into pranks like this.'

'A 'Capture the Memory' sort of thing,' mused George. 'It could work.'

As one the Twins stood up, said their good-byes and wandered off, discussing which charm to use.

Hermione looked at the others, a little wide-eyed. 'You don't think they'll try anything while he's teaching do you?'

'My brothers?' Ron replied. 'Course they will!'


End file.
